my feelings exactly (and I'm talking Hobbes here, hehe)
Sunday, August 21, 2005
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Scholastic little pleasures
Well the summer is fading, and school is starting to blaze on the horizon. I actually saw a bush with fall-red leaves on it today - how crazy is that?! Oh but I love the fall here, the campus is so pretty, with the vines crawling up the walls like great shooting flames of red and orange, and the yellow sun shining on the still green grass... And the crisp air in the evenings, that lets you put on a warm vest and just enjoy... And everyone is still excited about the new school year, and all the things they'll learn, and exams are still a distant memory, and you feel invincible after you finish your first assignment, your first essay, your first evening studying in the library with Bavarian Chocolate coffee from second cup and a cushy chair...
Sometimes I think I'm dreaming all this up, its so hard to believe that this is the life I can live, the life I do live... I think of how people never get the opportunity, never even have a chance... Or even people who have all the same chances and throw them away. I guess not everyone is going to love the same things that I do, but its so hard to see it that way. How can you not fall in love with library quiet? The rustle of papers and scratching of pencils and the quiet sounds of frustrations and inspirations.
Well, school is beginning for me, and I will focus on that. My honors project has my heart beating out of my chest, and I don't even know what the thesis is yet. Just the idea of it is enough. And the thought that I have to live up to so many expectations: my professors at the Mount, Dr Zwanziger at Dalhousie, my family.... Myself. And that's the big one, myself. It killed me last year I think, that I didn't achieve what I set out to achieve. Hey, yeah I graduated, but not with what I wanted... And there really was no reason for that.
So it'll begin again in September: new year, new courses, new people... The same attitude with a lot more resolve.
I'm going to need some kind of wonderful for this one...
<><
Sometimes I think I'm dreaming all this up, its so hard to believe that this is the life I can live, the life I do live... I think of how people never get the opportunity, never even have a chance... Or even people who have all the same chances and throw them away. I guess not everyone is going to love the same things that I do, but its so hard to see it that way. How can you not fall in love with library quiet? The rustle of papers and scratching of pencils and the quiet sounds of frustrations and inspirations.
Well, school is beginning for me, and I will focus on that. My honors project has my heart beating out of my chest, and I don't even know what the thesis is yet. Just the idea of it is enough. And the thought that I have to live up to so many expectations: my professors at the Mount, Dr Zwanziger at Dalhousie, my family.... Myself. And that's the big one, myself. It killed me last year I think, that I didn't achieve what I set out to achieve. Hey, yeah I graduated, but not with what I wanted... And there really was no reason for that.
So it'll begin again in September: new year, new courses, new people... The same attitude with a lot more resolve.
I'm going to need some kind of wonderful for this one...
<><
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